Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
