Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
