it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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