Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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