you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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