did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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