I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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