she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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