I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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