Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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