saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
