Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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