You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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