You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
