you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
