Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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