I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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