If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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