i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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