i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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