I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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