Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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