Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
