Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
