There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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