i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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