He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
