nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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