her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
