Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
