Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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