why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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