I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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