Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
