the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
