how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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