do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
