Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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