he thought i was a dude.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
