I can't watch pbs sober anymore
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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