I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
