I accidentally burped into my bong.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
