So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
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