My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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