okay pat passed out under dana's car
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
