Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
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There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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