Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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