Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she smelled like a LAN party
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
