dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
