i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
