I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
