2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize