how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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