so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And then he peed in my hair
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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