Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
