So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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