Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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