I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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