he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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