Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
